Allow your child to express his feelings

ALLOW THE CHILD TO EXPRESS HIS FEELINGS

Emotions are physiological change within our body. Our whole life is made up of emotions, they run our personality and determine our reactions.
Children’s emotions are one of the biggest challenges of parenting in early childhood, because a child cannot tell what they feel. Balancing children’s emotions builds self-respect and self-confidence.

Adults have much greater responsibility for their behaviors, because unlike children, they can understand what they are feeling. When you restrain a child for behavior that is triggered by emotions, you send him a non-verbal message that should not show what he is feeling and thus the child loses self-confidence. And instead of controlling our reactions and teaching the child how to control their emotions, we do the opposite – we react and restrain the child to express what he is feeling.

Observe your child

  • Observe your child, there is an emotion behind each of his actions. We cannot divide feelings into desirable and un*sirable, all emotions are acceptable and normal.
  • In the period between the second and sixth years, that is, in the preschool period, the child is very sensitive to praise and cr*ticism. He usually responds to criticism through cr*ing, and when is praised he is happy and proud. Your child will be shy before going to school. This is most often the case when a child needs to have public appearance in front of strangers.
  • Don’t feel bad if your child has different emotions, that doesn’t mean you are not a good parent. Explain to the child that you understand his feelings and that you also feel that way sometimes and give him an example of what do you do in that case.

Example:

The boy (4 years old) makes the tower of dice but does not go for it to match the dice the way he wants. He takes the dice and throw them all over the room.
Incorrect reactions of parents: “Stop being an*gry. If you can’t play nice, drop the dice: it’s not for throwing around the room. “

Correct reactions of parents: “You’re very an*gry about that tower. I often get an*gry when I don’t get the job done. Sometimes it helps me when I get some rest and try again.”

Children learn to dampen their emotions very early, as they are asha*med of parental an*ger:  “I must be really bad when mom gets angry.”

It takes time, patience, and consistency to learn the proper approach to working on children’s emotions as a parent, but this approach over time becomes your natural parenting behavior, your model of upbringing. And when you know that as a result you will have mutual trust and that in the eyes of the child you are his support, you will agree that it is worth the effort.

For more on Montessori toys, Montessori materials, Montessori Method see my new book: Montessori in kindergarten

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